Boobies and Madras

One question for all you southern gents. Whats with the boobie ogling? I mean really, I havent had one man look me in the face since I crossed the Misissippi. If someone of the male persuation looked me in the eye at this point, I’d bet money he was gay or under the age of 10! What is hysterical to me is that im not what one would consider well endowed in this department, so my first reaction is to look down and see if I spilled something on my shirt! Grin. Ive done that more than once then of course I have to try to keep a straight face….not that the men would notice mind you. I may have to employ one of my all time favorite lines : “wake up gals he’s talking to ya!” said after giving both a good lift toward the oogler. Ogling must be a finer art in Ca. Cant say as my boobinis garnered much noticeable attention out there. I guess I better get some sun too, Tim and I are down right ghostly compared to everyone we meet out here. The Goth phenomenon obviously isn’t going to take off in this town. But to my great surprise madras print is still being worn with pride in these here parts. I think I saw docksiders and a polo shirt as well. I couldn’t be sure though as the collar was flipped down. So much to learn….giggle.

Oh canada.....

The hunt for good hay has begun and not a moment to soon I say. I have purchased at all manner of brown , crunchy, weedy looking stuff and strangely the horses are sucking it down like its manna of the gods. Ooooookay, well at 7 bucks a bale I’m not complaining! So far ive tried local grass hay, and Canadian premium timothy, yes its true, they import from Canada. What happened to all the hay grown in states between here and Canada I don’t know. Maybe there’s some kind of embargo. “Until you drop the price of your moon pies, we northern states hay sellers are boycotting the entire state of north Carolina….” shrug…. Anyhow, I had moment of “geez, my horses are eating a bale a day, I cant afford this!” then I did the math, 35 to 40 pounds a bale at seven bucks equals?….. well lets just say that the two of them getting chubby on this hay are eating for less than the cost of one of them in Ca! woohoo! I have to get my second and third paddocks set up( all I have is the good old round pen at the momo) for more grazing time and then they can get more grass. Their current turn out( over two acres) is really sandy and the grass had been depleted before they got here. So project number 653: break paddock into thirds and reseed. Not as daunting as it sounds as the rain here will take care of the watering nicely. The ponies seem happy, I’ll figure out the intricacies of feeding in far eastern, coastal, usa then all will feel normal again.

Returning to normalcy

Good golly miss molly! We are home. Today we found the Home Depot, the Harris Teeter, and a Massage Envy. I’m secretly thankful ‘cause folks, Ace hardware and super Wal-Mart had me a little worried. Not that they aren’t wonderful in their own right. I mean, where else in the country can you buy beet pulp and fly spray for your horses at an Ace hardware? But walking into Home Depot with its plethora of fence building materials and paint and plants, well, phew is all I can say! This is why lonely American tourists can be found eating “big macs” from Beijing to Paris. You know what you are going to get. You know what its going to look like and you can find the restrooms no worries! Harris Teeter is the first real super market we have been in. Granted we haven’t found the piggly wiggly yet, I hear its up by Jacksonville a whole 20 miles a way! But it reminded me of Vons and that was fine by me after the disappointment that was “Loveys” the one organic food store in town. Thank heavens for farmers markets is all I’m sayin’. Loveys was outrageously priced, you know like jimbos except with no fresh produce, goat cheese, buffalo or kafir. So what is the point I ask you? The people where all very friendly and the salad bar I scarfed for lunch was delish but I wont be buying much of anything there except lunch on occasion. I’m wondering if I can solicit Sprouts to open a store here……
We visited Rhett and Scarlet Vincent as well(that’s Diana and Brian) trying to come close to matching their house warming of hay and booze with our moon pies and ice cream sandwiches. Their house is fabulous! And my horses would be kicking me in the butt if they knew they could have been boarded there on the plantation. Tree studded pastures with lush green grass, breezy barn, and a view of the house. This house is something, white columns, double decker porches, meandering, tree studded drive…… Its just like Tara! I hope I get an invite to the Christmas ball!

The eagle has landed

Where the hell have we been you ask? Well, here of course! Still waiting on internet access. We have landed, unpacked, settled in and enjoyed two very memorable meals. I finally got my Ahi and field greens, and I ate the best steamed spicy shrimp , washed down with a cold corona light at the crab shack on topsail beach. A REAL crab shack with family style tables, plastic table cloths , paper towels instead of napkins and salty bartender from Solomon’s island Md. Of all places….this world gets smaller by the day. In any case I digress lets back up to the day we arrived.
We left heaven in the hills of Tenn. Around 8:30 am. We slept in then the drive out was almost as interesting as the drive in even taking the “easier” way. The easier way consisted of a really steep gravel drive to another bridge this one less scary than the first but still a bit of a challenge. Especially after my one wrong turn that thankfully ended in a round cul de sac for easy turn around. Grin.
I was still in my virtual east coast bliss after the peaceful night of fire flies and frog noises from our deck at the cabin. I saw signs for battle fields and antiques, historical homes, and cave tours, as we wound our way out of the mountains and down toward the flat lands of NC. That’s when things got a bit ugly. Merge morons ran rampant around the cities. I was pushed off the road, rig and all by a man determined to get off on an exit we where practically past. All I can remember is his wife’s big round eyes looking up at me as she passed in front of my truck. We hit the exit going 65 and came to a screeching halt on a very soft berm . After I got my wits about me again and had exhausted my entire vocabulary of vile language. I think I even made up a few new combinations! We(critters and I) where able to get back on the freeway in search of Tim, my phone was long dead by this time. He missed the whole thing! In a personal note to the three truckers I met on the road outside Raleigh-Durham: Cut back on the red bull boys, its bad for you, do some yogic breathing, and PULL YOUR COLLECTIVE HEADS FROM YOUR ASSES, DRIVING THE FREEWAYS IN YOUR HUMONGOUS TRUCK IS NOT SOME GAME!!!!! These three fools rode my bumper for miles in rush hour traffic and then passed me, when there was opportunity, blowing their horns the whole way…… Some people just need a good beating and these three should be first in line when beatings are being doled out. Harrumph! Despite all this fun and the fact that we had no clear directions to our new abode, we managed with phone calls to our land lord and my wonderful folks, to arrive. You know how the good always comes with the bad? Yep, here is no exception. Our road to the house is “the bad“. House, barn, yard, turnouts, privacy, pond, screened in porches, all good! Road to the house….all bad! “Road” is using the term loosely. Path? trail? All, to bucolic. This is just like the beach roads to places like Jadabacoa and Samana in the good old days living in the D.R. For those of you this does not conjure an image for just imagine what the pioneers faced in their ox drawn carts crossing the country. I’m not making this up! Its sand, ruts, sink holes, and overgrowth. One and a half miles of it…………. You shoulda seen Tim’s’ face! Grin.
The unpacking happened in record time with help from Chester and Mickey aka Two Men and a Truck( A great little service that moves people in and out) and the mimster and waynacane aka my folks, who did most of the house staging and took care of the food/drink detail. Tim has never been happier than to unload and ride his motorcycle again. It arrived knick and ding free, started right up and he rode it around the house, into its new home in the barn! We also had several hitchhikers in the Penske. One huge, lizard and a handful of black widows. The lizard we released by the pond, he looked very confused in the grass. If there are any new species of mutant lizard turtles that devastate NC coastal habitat you did not hear about our little hitchhiking incident. Wink wink.
In a day and half all boxes are unpacked, pictures are hung, guest room is set up, all we need is company! See ya soon.

Cabin fever

We are finally in heaven! The Edward Estates and Log home rentals are fantastic…getting here was a real challenge between Sevierville traffic , roads that looked one car length wide and the bridge….the bridge into this place is crazy! It boasts a “no vehicles over 5 tons” sign…who the hell knows what their vehicle weighs? OMG! But you know its all worth it, the owner himself appeared, sans shirt,(picture a man who loves his RC cola and is very confident with himself, boasting a great tan!) in his huge pick up waving us in like an air traffic controller. He was strangely comforting! Grin. Tim was sweating bullets until this guy shows up all “ come on buddy, you got it!” then as if by magic we drive this incredible gravel drive unload the critters into 50 by 100 electric turn outs AND have a place to park the trailer, Penske and car! No problem. I learn from the barn manager, who is the consummate Marlboro man, all muscles and gravelly voice, severe dimples and craggy face, that there are trails for miles OMG! I am coming back here for sure to ride my cuervy and possible boo boo. We are then pointed to our cabin: the honey moon suite….grin …no I didn’t plan it I reserved a two bed two bath cabin…it is secluded and very, very cute! Real quilt on the bed, LAUNDRY, very important after the extended trip we have had, kitchen and wonderful ,wonderful porch! Where I sit writing this blog. Sigh, im so psyched to be on the east coast again. I cant describe it really , the gnats are even welcome! Hahaha. I cant get enough of the green. The smells, the trees, the grass…….its home coming that I never thought I needed. You all must come see, really and truly. So worth it!!! Well I promised Tim a real meal, with plates that clink and silverware…later gaters‘….

Singing in the rain

We now know why Arkansas is so green, it rained the entire day we drove through it. Not just any old rain either. How to describe it? Sheets of rain doesn’t do it justice, neither does down pour or deluge, this, this was biblical rain! The sky opened up and the heavens wept….Yes, its true. Rain so hard and juicy that seeing more than a few feet in front of your vehicle was impossible. Rain so fat that that when Tim and I ran giggling to the rest rooms at a rest area, that we could wring out our shirts. It was amazing, and lasted all day with only two short respites. Its wonderful! Grin! Tim called me twice to say a booming voice requested he build an ark and begin collecting animals……hahaha. We saw several semi’s off in the woods, wrecked and one passing car with a turkey in the passengers lap. Hmmmmmm. In any case, while a bit nerve wracking at times, I was lucky enough to have Puddy bird with me and he LOVED the rain. He sang all day, every whistle in his repertoire and some new stuff he made up. It was very cute and helped keep my mind off the strain of driving a rig through puddles big enough to pull us around the lanes. Of course the wet dog smell combined with bird breath wasn’t at all pleasant so fabreze to the rescue! Thank heaven we had the stuff to because ladies and gents our first farm stay is, well , uh, smelly. An interesting mix of moth balls and gasoline I think. We are to tired and its raining to hard to go find another place. Our horses are comfortable in the barn, our chickens are turned out for the night in the horse trailer( aka worlds most expensive chicken coop) So, we are staying here meanwhile we have our chops set for tomorrows’ two bedroom cabin in Sevierville with 100 by 100 turnout for the horses and a “real meal“ for Tim!
The horses here are beautiful appaloosas and its to dang dark now to take any good pics and since our accommodation is so, er, uh pungent we are leaving at first light. Ah, well the bed is comfy at least and the water in the shower hot and plentiful. But if we don’t appear as scheduled in Sevierville tomorrow please call 911, we will have died of fabreze inhalation in Jackson TN!!!! Grin…..
My favorite sign today was for a park in AR called, are you ready for this? TOAD SUCK PARK! Now that there is funny……….

dog is my copilot

The truck has been retrieved. Its water pump, hopefully repaired and we are getting ready to pack up and ship out tomarrow AM. OK has been fun buts its time to go. Ive split the last of the trip up into bite sized pieces for sanity sake all under 450 miles each of our three days of travel. Our last stops will be farm stays so im not sure about internet hook up. Ill keep notes though and take pics for blog updateing when its possible! grin

Here are some fun OK facts for you all.

1) I visited the local winery called The Grape Ranch, It had some frozen sweet rose wine that would knock your socks clean off! why are those tasteing portions so small? yum! I had no idea there where winerys here, apperently there are 34 in this fine state, all still useing Ca grapes but soon to have their first crop of OK grapes in the fall, as I understand it.
2) The town of Henryetta(where my truck spent its OK vacation) is Troy Aikmans home town!
3) The first parking meter was erected in Oklahoma.....all this and more are on the incredible amount of road signs to every little town and stop along the way. Some one has a huge state budget apperently. Grin
4) Okemah is the birth place of Arlo Guthrie

Send us happy thoughts~

The fish bowl, seared ahi with field green salad and other musings

Our friendly days inn is a family run affair. Its very Missippi Masala. I crashed for 5 hours after horse chores this Am and woke up to several people looking in our window and smileing( i was so claustrophobic i had to open the curtains against" cave boys" aka tims' wishes. They brought us clean towels and where enjoying a peak at our little brood. They saw Tim asleep with his book on one bed with a husky curled at his feet, me asleep on the other bed, spaniels willy nilly, covers over my head( it has to be cool enough for the huskies!) and puddy the cockatiel in the fore ground, his cage balanced on a dog food container so he could get some sun and a view of the world from our 2nd story window! Im sure we will be a topic of conversation for a while! grin!

Tim went out to find us dinner,he asked what i wanted and i said" seared ahi on a bed of field greens and some lightly steamed asparagus" teehee.... well he returned with blackened cat fish, corn on the cob and country style green beans! hey not bad at all! ;0) his steak was another story.......

My two favorite signs thus far: "fried pies up ahead" (can only wonder why) and "what are these guys smoking?" followed by signs saying " ham, lamb, beef, and pork" then finally" smith brothers bar b que!" hahahhahahaha

Things that are comeing back to me: bug noise!, waves from total strangers as you drive past thier homes, conversations that last more than 5 minutes, polite teenagers, the smell of green and horse flies(ow~ they hurt!)

Found out what a "fraidy hole" is: tornado shelter! If you have one you have a byob and chair policy and it turns into a big old party with neighbors who dont have one! cool........

Disaster on the high seas

Who knew that one of the challenges of doing a blog across country would be finding internet access. I mean, most major hotel chains are set up right? Perhaps a star bucks, or coffee bean and tea leaf ? Eh, not so much. Tucumcari NM, boasted a dinosaur museum, several fast food joints and access to route 66 but sadly no internet. So I couldn’t tell you about the well thought out Best Western pet friendly rooms that where all tiled with Mexican tiles and located on the bottom floor with fenced patios for outdoor time. With convenience like this I can over look little things like no WIFI. I left Boo and Cuervo at a barn I stayed at on my out to Ca. The entrance to it terrified me back then. A narrow bridge made of old rail road ties over a deep, cement culvert. After 9 years of driving CA. roads with my rig, this bridge was now no biggie. Of course the major thunder storm, complete with huge lightening and sheets of rain made things a bit hairy unloading the ponies. Not to mention turning around the Penske on the flooded dirt road. I’m glad I was in my own vehicle so I wouldn’t have to hear the names Tim was surely calling me. Wink wink….Anyhow we headed out as planned to OK next morning and it was going swimmingly I might ad, until……my truck broke! That’s right, we are currently holed in beautiful, Owkena OK. 70 miles short of where we intended to stop yesterday. With the help of a 1995 edition of Horse emergency guide and our intended host ,we located a towing company and a great horsey hotel called four winds ranch…www.fourwindsranch.net…. Michelle, the proprietress, is a ex sheriff deputy from Michigan. She kindly waited up for us until 11:30 pm and allowed us to leave our penski as well as the horse trailer in the safety of her yard. She has 160 acres, some nice paint horses, one big old warm blood mare ( for sale… cheap….hint hint) some goats and sheep and a nice, cool barn. Cool is important in these here parts. Where things aren’t just hot, they are STUPID hot. We’ve been lucky enough to catch an unusual “cool” spell here in OK.. this July. Only a livable 91 degrees with 98 percent humidity. Woooweee! This perpetual dampness is bringing back memories. Sweat is my friend….I figured I might as well embrace perspiration after all there will be no escaping it where we are headed. Thank god for air conditioning is all I’m sayin’. I’d be thankful for deodorant to, but sadly it had a small accident in the car going through the Mojave our first day out . That type of heat transcends stupid and can only be called third level of HELL hotness. It was very oven like at 115 degrees. We actually packed the chicken cages with ice as the poor dears where becoming roasted chicken before my eyes. Horses dripped sweat and dogs panted with the air blasting in the truck. I burned my arm on the side of my trailer……it was not pretty. Anyhow I digress. We are simply enjoying stupid hot at the moment. No need to dwell on hell hot eh? Grin.
So if all goes well, tomorrow when the ford dealership opens we can get the Ford repaired and be on our merry way. I’m bummed that my trusty ford “lay down on me” a quote from our very colorful tow truck driver. If fact all three men that showed up for the vehicles where characters. Bill, of the two opposing lower teeth(nada in between these puppies), shared, between puffs of his cig, ,about his 9 kids( you read right that’s: NINE) , the 6 women it took to get that many chillens. And the fact he only “had” to marry two of them. I’m guessing they where all horrible gold diggers as clearly he was married for his money! Grin. He said he threw a huge party when the last spawn turned 18.…child support dontcha know! Bigger grin……
My tow truck driver and his son entertained me with tales of barrel racing in the good old days when there was no timer but a stop watch and a flag man…..hmmmmmm. I also got to listen in on some cell phone calls taken while driving my rig carrying my babies at 70 to 80 miles an hour. Luckily the calls where entertaining enough to keep my mind from conjuring the gory demise of my ponies on the high way. Here’s a snippet of what I can remember for your enjoyment.
“Hell-o. why yes! How’s your okry? No, no be careful or you’ll end up pulling your vines in two. My beets didn’t come up or my maters…yes, yes…..im fixen to plant me some beans here in a little while, Well let me let you get back to it. Uh-huh, I’m hauling some horses for this lady and I don’t want her to smack me up side the head or something for talking on the phone while I should payin’ attention to my driving!” yep that’s me , the head smacker! Although the thought did cross my mind after the third or fourth weave into the next lane. Now to this mans credit, he did slow it down to 50 on the one, lane gravel road to the farm. He even took his foot off the gas when a raccoon crossed in front of us. “coon,” he said “ the four legged kind” to the haw haws of his son. Me being so frazzled at this point I couldn’t imagine what other type of coon there was…..then it hit me…..apparently the south is alive and well here OK.

Omens,Signs and Flagstaff AZ!

Do you guys believe in omens....you know, signs, kismet, inklings, feelings, hair stands up on the back of your neck type stuff? NO? Well, you should start! Let me tell ya, some weird things are afoot since we started the great migration east. First these "signs" started off inocuously enough. You know the house selling when we changed venues, then while i was packing, i found a picture af chloe one of my first barn kitties in MD. I thought that she was a brown and silver tabby like my barn kitty in Ca ( the Diesel cat) But when I saw the picture, OMG! they are spitting images of each other, "so what?" you say, well bear with me.....Sandis last lesson, she has a foster kitty who is identical to Tawny( tawny kitane) one of my favorites from MD...two east coast ties, THEN i get an email from an old friend who boards with an old renter of mine FROM MD! I havent spoken to either of these gals in 6 or 7 years. Now for the real freaky stuff, today as we get on 40 what sign marks that junction? A sign saying route 40 of course followed by "wilmington NC 2546 miles" NO joke! Check it out if you get on the 40 at the 15. And the best part of which i have a really crap picture, was seeing Carol and John D on the 40 of course, as they where heading home from vegas.....On a whole long hwy, how can two of your favorite people simply drive past and exchange last waves and camera phone pics! So all you doubters, go get yourselves a lucky chicken foot.....er rabbit foot and join us heathens in sign spotting!



We're here, we're smelly, we're tired...but we're here! first leg of 5 done, checked off, finito! grin hope to load the pics tomarrow, camera cable in the car and no amount of dedication to craft is going to get me out there to the car tonight... woohoo tomarrow, Tucumcari NM....we hope! wonder what the signs will say there? nightie night!

Last day in Cali.....

Our last day here in SD and i must say, it was busy, but not crazy...well at least by my standards... grin. Pack out was yesterday. Hell about describes it as in hotter than, on wheels, in a handbasket, has no fury like a woman scorned, bent for leather, go to, and to hell with it. The high light was "Timal kenevil" riding up the ramp into the penske on his cruiser. The low light was my ducati would not fit..... but in a toss up between horse stuff( like round pens) and motorized vehicles, the horse stuff always wins out! teehee Anyhow, thank the Jesus Gods for good friends as Jeff and his pup Kinsey came out today and rode the ducati off into the sunset( aka: back to storage from whence it came...grin) on a side note, having a jack russel ride on my lap on the way to get horse food and bedding for the trip brought back memories of the kiia dog, my russel of many years. I'd forgotten how russels sit on you. They fairly grip with their toes and quiver in enjoyment of all the things outside to see! So un spaniel like! Spanies melt into you and threaten to slide off on to the floor boards! hahhahah It was nice to borrow a russel for 30 minutes or so, and like ive heard so many grand parents say" love being able to give them back!!! teehee



So, todays rundown? Last of the stuff in the penske. To quote Tim " Just because you say there is space in the truck doesnt make it a reality!" tsk tsk! Guess what?....thats right, apperently my saying it, does make it so....im just sayin'..... big wide, shit eatin grin!!! Had that all taken care of by 10:30, then the run to the feed store for trip hay and horse litter, i dont know why i persist on calling it bedding all they do is poop on it and soak it with pee! niiiiiiiiicccceeee! then one more run to the dump where apperently the minimum cost changes daily, today it was $25 two days ago $21 ("meenimum i have to sharge you....") and 2 weeks ago $10 for tims truck full.....sigh anyhow then we actually ate a sushi lunch( you ever know what awaits down south food wise best to eat good here now), hit escrow to retrieve wonderful check, then directly to the bank! Off to the bird store, the market for ice for the coolers, the gas station for a fill up and air in the tires and home where one horse, and two dogs needed washing.... for my horsey friends I wish I had filmed my impromtu trailer loading with cuervy as it was a sight! I will write more about it later, im to pooped tonight but all i can say is that by traditional standards it would have illicited jeers but in natural horsemanship terms, it was try with heart for 45 minutes!!! i love my pony!



tomarrow O dark thirty we go....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

Welcome Earthlings!

Have you ever been white water rafting? Sounds like big fun doesnt it? Just you, and 9 of your closest buddies, the water, a big yellow rubber boat........ yeah..... thats the life, cruising along, checking the scenery, looking forward to a little "ack-shun" woohoo! After the first small bit of white water, you look around at your buds, high fives all around maybe a fist bump or two, you're damp, you're happy, maybe a little cocky. Now its all about, whens the next set of rapids? 'Cause you are gonna kick its ass! Thats right, this rivers not so tough. Pretty much goes like this all day. You hit those rapids, get knocked around a little bit, pop out the other side and paddle like hell for the next set. Its all very Garth Brooks, you know:" Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide." Nothing wrong with this one bit. Isnt it just like life? We start off enjoying the scenery, taking little swims , stopping to investigate secluded beaches, munching a little snackie....remember savoring it?That action jackson genre is a distant diversion. You're kinda looking forward to it, 'cause you know its comeing but in the beginning its about taking it at your own pace. Then very stealth like, the river takes over. Its the rivers pace after that and all you get to do is navigate. But its all good, theres a little sun burn going on, a little ass chapage from your damp shorts, maybe a pulled muscle or two. Just look how your handling this water though....im-press-ive! On a real rafting day trip you get to pull that boat out of the water and savor the victories. You might even heckle those losers who shoot by in their rubber boat, with 9 of their closest buddies, who signed on for the three day rafting trip. "Suck-uhs!" you shout raising your hard earned bottle of beer, from the shore. Then you plunk down, poke a stick into your camp fire, listen the crickets and breathe.



Well folks, thats what we're up to(Tim and I) We've decided to pull our rubber boat out of the river, trading it for a couple of inner tubes that we'll launch on a tributary called "Hampstead, North Carolina" We thought we take a slow float and see what we see. We're taking our fur babies with us and the adventure begins in three days.