Hair Brained

I'm falling out of love with my hair. I know its fickle. My poor hair can only do so much when faced with challenges like high humidity, very hard , iron laden,salt treated water and the lack of a shampoo that works under these conditions. Lets not even get in to the fact that I abuse it regularly with color treatment and sun and horse shmutz. Ad to that, the new torment of my ever present wool beanie and the zipper of my winter jacket. Sigh,can you blame it for looking so... well ... lack luster? I'm finding these long, brassy, wiry hairs woven into the carpet, stuck to the sofa, and laying forlornly around the drain in our shower. I even found one clinging to the lemonade bottle in the fridge! This is not Kosher. I am not happy! My goal has been to wear long hair until I'm to old for it and then get it cut in a reasonable, old lady do, that I will happily dye "blue" and have set in rollers once a week at the local "sal-on". I may be forced to consider other options. That makes me desperate. I don't know about you, but desperation makes me do some out of character things sometimes. This particular time it drove me to watch and consider an infomercial! I'm sure you all have seen it. It features Mellisa Gilbert for heavens sakes. Who is more trust worthy than Laura Beth from Little House on The Prairie? NO ONE! So after a quick conversation with myself : "wait... what's this? ugh... infomercial( rolls eyes)... hair care product? Back the bus up! maybe its the answer!...OK but if anyone comes in the room switch the channel fast" I settled down to watch lots of women with gorgeous hair rinse and comb a product called "WEN" into their scalps. Well now, this was interesting. According to the creator of this product, this was a soap free alternative to hair care. HMMMMM.... "soap free? does that mean no drying?" I asked the TV. Why , yes! yes it does mean the end to crispy, unruly, lack luster hair! I was interested.... very interested. Despite his resemblance to the artist formerly know as Prince,Mr Chaz Dean, Wen creator, himself had faaaaabulous hair darling. I was ready to pay what ever it took by the end of that half hour. Turns out I didn't have to though as I was actually gifted a starter pack! Oh the excitement of washing my hair. It was labour intensive lots of pumping, lots of rinsing, lots of massaging, lots of combing. But, it came out beautifully, and my hair once I dried it was uber shiny and uber bouncy! I was in love! It had no heavy fragrance. My hair stayed wonderful between washings, it was a miracle! Until I realized how much one has to use on hair the same length as Melisa Gilbert and I. Lets just say that the budget wasn't going to allow this kind of decadence. I didn't give up though. My hair was a changed woman, some one else out there had to have a similar product, a knock off even, that I could afford. Many thanks to google search and YouTube as apparently there are people out there who review products on camera for the whole Internet to witness. That's where I found Sally beauty supplies Wen knock off. Its a fraction, A FRACTION of the price. So cheap in fact I ordered all their flavors with shipping for under what one bottle of Wen would cost me. If you could buy one bottle of WEN that is, it seems to only come in sets. Anyhow, this new stuff , Hair One, is pretty good. It doesn't come with a wide tooth comb like WEN or packaged in a nice box with raffia shreds for packing like WEN, but I found out after ordering my Hair One, I can actually go down to Wilmington and buy it locally at Sally's Beauty Supply. What could be better? Now don't get me wrong, I'm still going to scour amazon for deals on WEN as I feel I owe it to Melissa and Chaz. ( I would die to score a salon size jug!) But until then I'll happily use my impersonator and fall in love with my hair all over again.

Shiver...

How does one cope with the cold? Hmmm, with record lows in places that its more moderate and record highs in places its traditionally cold, It seems climate change is wreaking havoc amongst us. I have forgotten a few things about true cold. For one thing my lips are a mess as are my fingers. NO amount of water consumption, balm, lotion or vitamin E is saving the skin from being anything other than cracked, sore and dry.(LOVERLY!) Then there is the static. We all look like something blown off a spent dandelion. The dogs shuffle around tentatively touching their super charged noses to things. They receive a shock and then proceed to look pathetic and abused while sneezing uncontrollably. Its all very vexing. So far my cold management strategy for doing chores is, bundle up in several layers with at least one of those layers hanging past my hips. I make sure all openings through my warm layers are cinched down or stuffed full of something fleecy and warm. I don a wool hat lined with polar fleece, and drink down a cup of scalding tea before venturing forth onto the tundra. I have taken to traveling around the farm with plastic jugs full of hot water. This helps thaw things like , chicken water bowls, frozen beet pulp, cold, metal snaffles and bare fingers that have been used to pick the freshly broken ice chunks from the water trough. They do not however help much with frozen spigots or hoses. Hoses must be laid in the sun for use later in the day once some warming has taken place. I was pretty smug actually about this solar arrangement until the few coils of hose in my barn froze. They are attached directly to my water filter which makes them pretty much permanent in their placement, leaving no way of getting those particular coils into the sun. For that I'll be hooking up a heat lamp later. Then I will fill both troughs and all buckets to the rim in hopes of getting to the warmer weather promised for the end of the week before more water is needed for the animals. Sleepiness is a consequence I forgot about cold weather. I'm outside trucking around feeling full of vim and vigour then I come back into a warm house and can hardly keep my eyes open. Whats with that? Ive taken to standing, because I know once I sit, I'm a goner. Of course I may topple over with my soup spoon half way to my mouth but I guess that's a risk I'll have to take. Now, can anyone recommend gloves that actually keep the ends of your fingers warm?

They come and they go.....

Miss Kitty was humanely euthanized last night after a freak accident with Boo. Poor cat got under her feet when she was cantering in a work out and suffered severe head trauma. All my brave talk about how barn kitties have unusually short but full lives is ringing hollow for me this morning where there is no Miss Kitty to meet me at the kitchen door. No Miss Kitty curled up in her blankets on my porch furniture. No Miss Kitty to escort me to the barn and back how ever many trips a day I make. Its not like I haven't lost barn kitties before, Moses, Radar, Tig, Tawny all wonderful barn kitties in MD, all killed on that horrible road out in front of my farm there. Diesel's brother Slinky, in Ca,simply disappeared one day the probable victim of a coyote. Its always miserable. This one is especially hard. I saw this happen and wish I could have done something to stop it. She was older, brave, and sweet. She was special and I'll miss her funny little cat face.

shtuck en zie mud!

"I never seen so much water!" Water pronounced "whar-tur". So says the fed ex man dropping off new winter wear for the horses. In fact its what everyone is saying around these here parts since we moved in. Well, that's just peachy. I love knowing that the reason my 4 wheel drive, heavy duty, ford is stuck 3 feet from my front door is due to some strange coastal weather anomaly. GREAT! For the second time this week Ive had to slog to the barn, in "good" clothes to extract humongous amounts of questionable hay to stuff under my tires in hopes it will give me just enough traction to get on a non rutted section of the yard in order to make my escape off the property. The place looks like some kind of scare crow killing fields! Well this all may be about to change. It seems my landlords suffered the same misfortune on a visit to their RV yesterday. Their 6 plus hour ordeal just happened to coincide with our day out to see Sherlock Holmes. Oops.....So after the movie we are enjoying a hot chocolate and wandering around in public when I finally remembered to turn my phone back on. That's when we got the message they where in need of some assistance. Its a real challenge to try to explain to harried, muddy, cold New York natives that 4 wheel drive is great for towing out smaller vehicles, IF said 4 wheeler is on ground where the tires can gain purchase. So we where only good for some sympathetic noises and limited company. (It was cold after all and we had stuff to do!) In any case their dilemma was solved by an even bigger truck with a thirty foot tow chain. After a few initial missteps that cost them their bumper, they where freed and wasted no time in getting down the drive. Before the rescue though I was told to expect gravel next week. Lots and lots of glorious gravel.

Pioneers O pioneers....

which one of these is not like the other?

Broccoli sprout..

ROMAINE!

romaine.

What the.....?

Lately we have had some sort of varmint attack our trash, granted its usually only when we have a stray bag sitting next to the big rubber maid outside on the deck but this trash can is by our sliding door with in sight of, ahem, ferocious huskies and rabid spaniels. So I'm thinking it has to be something with chutzpah like a raccoon. Well, one experience with clammy coffee grounds and congealed chicken fat and the new rule is that all stray bags get deposited in my truck bed for dumping the next day. This has worked fabulously until yesterday, when to my great irritation trash was scattered all over the truck bed letting me repeat my ritual of gagging while scraping soggy coffee grounds out of the crevices of my bed liner. Funny how coffee in a cup is Divine, and coffee grounds out of the trash are vile! Anyhow in the thanking god for small favors department, all trash was contained in my truck bed and not strewn about the yard. After much cussing and retching all trash was again contained, so I went inside to gather purse and keys for the dump run. I passed Ms. K lounging on our outdoor furniture. She was sporting a really funny "har do"(that's how we say hair do down south). It was a greasy looking Mohawk. Its been chilly here lately and I worry that Ms. Kitty will take to hiding in the engine compartments of our vehicles for warmth. So of course I had to identify the greasy look and what better way to do that than to smell of it! Hmmmm, definitely not engine grease, in fact it smelled just like chicken with a hint of coffee grounds! That's right folks, Ms Kitty, lapper of organic half and half. Connoisseur of canned cat food. Tuna taster extraordinaire, is a dumpster diver! Ungrateful feline. She at least will suffer the embarrassment of having her picture posted for all to point and giggle at. Cats! such posers.....

Horse Pants Blues

Well, folks I've suffered my last stare, my last stink eye, my last slack jawed scowl! I'm done I tell you, "Hallus"!( "enough", in Lebanese, don't ask me the true spelling... but when pronouncing it , start the "h" way back in your throat like your are gonna hoick a loogie!) Horse pants, otherwise known as breeches in the rest of the modern world, are not a well known article of clothing here on the coast. As the none to friendly stares from the natives have proven to me. The roughest spot so far has been the local gas station but hot on its heels is the Food Lion. I LIVE in horse pants and have happily for a decade. It makes me grumpy that it draws any sort of attention here, where racing home to change my pants before errands is a spleen bruising* waste of time.*See earlier posts on our road.

So, I first tried to remember to pack a pair of jeans with me to change into, this failed in many ways. Key word being the "remember" part. Then when I did manage to bring a pair, I had to parade myself past the very people I'm trying to "spare" the apparent horror that my spandex clad buttocks incites. I tried changing in my truck. I'm not sure, but i think this was even more scandalous. Maybe because a truck full of bubbas pulled up next to me at a crucial part in the concealment process. Anyhow I'm not one to bow to peer pressure, but its getting ridiculous. Down by the university, I blend right in with the yoga crowd. Especially if I change out of my smelly horse boots. But out in the country where 98 percent of my clientele reside? Not so much with the blending in.

The search is on for an acceptable pant that is comfy enough to sit in a truck and hop on a horse. I think I have found it in the Bettona pant from athleta. Get this, its a yoga JEAN! It comes in black and has jean-like stitching , faux zipper,rivets and pockets. I am hopeful. I'll give them the old test run when they arrive next week. Man, this small town living is not for the faint of heart! Who knew everyone has a reputation?