How Knitting Fights Winter Butt

Whats Winter Butt you ask? Winter Butt is an insidious condition that strikes most women right around January every year. Its brought about by egg nog, snuggling by a fire place with a hot toddy, and Christmas goodie making/sampling. It causes sagging and dimpling of the rump region and for some reason is always a surprise to those afflicted ( moi being the most surprised every year) This year I even noticed it in my fine, furry equines as well. Apparently carrying my derrier is good for all our derrieres! As always when struck by this scourge I set my sights on ridding myself of it. Not living on the swamp road, near an indoor pool or fun yoga studio has made it a bit of a challenge. My hot house tomato tendency has kept me off my horses for a few weeks not to mention all the holiday fun and company. I had to get creative. I considered and discounted the local gym mostly because, well, I hate gyms with their funk,germs and noise. But in my momentary gym musings I did remind myself that we do indeed have our own treadmill.....big, loud, dramatic, sigh. Treadmills seem like such a ridiculous idea to me in my "just be outdoors" haughtiness. But this year I have stooped to use it. (ONLY until spring mind you) Number one, its cold out, number two, well , its cold out and number three, its that or the gym...ewwwwww not. So, I am now "treading" or should I say "tread milling". What eveeeeeeeeer. I only had to over come the severe boredom factor that this entails. TV is out, who does that anyway? Reading, gave me a eye strain with a slight headache( just like I get in a car) and listening to my ipod only got me through three sessions on the old machine. How many times can I listen to Gaga after all. I already knew all the words but now I know all the keys as well. Ay yi yi! I decided to try the one thing I was looking forward to doing in the winter months but that unfortunately, I believe, contributes to Winter Butt as well. Knitting! Its true, Ive ripped out the same scarf Ive been working on....twice...but not only does it keep my hands busy, it keeps my eyes off that irritatingly,red flashing, lap counter. Four miles fairly flys by when you aren't saying to yourself " I know Ive been on here more than 3/4 of a mile...." Plus, think how many scarves will get knitted by next Christmas, it boogles the mind. So long Winter Butt, see ya next year.

Santa, Guns and Fall colors.

Its been almost 13 years since I have experienced a true fall. The kind where leaves change and fall,rain lasts all day, sun shines on frosty fields and wood smoke is the most common smell on the air. Its lovely and Ive missed it. I have been on the road alot the last few months, KY, VA and such. So I have seen some pretty vistas. Ive also missed a plethora of wonderful festivals around these here parts. Oktoberfest came and went with out so much as a swallow of dopple bock for me. There was a pottery festival, many a fall farmers market, several town specific parades and celebrations and at least one organized trail ride that I missed or otherwise couldn't attend. Bummer! I was determined to do at least one though and so I set my sights on "A Southern Christmas" A downtown , Charlotte staple. True I was giving up small town quaint for big city glitz but what the hey right? It was a festival for the holidays and I was not going to miss one more! We found the exit in part due to the line of cars stopping traffic on the highway. "uh oh, this IS a pretty big deal" Tim said as we added to the obstruction, nosing our car onto the shoulder behind about 100 others. Turns out this wasn't the first of the lines we encountered that day. There was the line to buy tickets, the line to get in, the line to get through the entire Christmas village set up inside the expo center, the line to the bathrooms( of course) the line for the wine tasting, luckily we abhor sweet wines the staple here in the great grape growing region of the triad. So our favored wines had no waiting! grin, But we did have to wait to get close enough to signal the down trodden Shiraz seller to fill us up several samples of his finest! He was so happy to see us, poor soul. Oh, then of course there where the lines and traffic snarls caused by every stroller in a hundred mile radius being used to haul loot and the occasional screeching child. Can I just say, that in such tight quarters there should be a stroller lane, where moms and shoppers with a need to stroll their loot around can congregate and chat and otherwise stay out of the flow of real traffic trying to just enjoy the sights elbow to elbow with thousands of our closest friends. After completing what Tim and I assumed was the whole show, we headed for the potty and that's where I found to my surprise that there was two more buildings full of show! OMG....Tim paled a little when I told him about it but we gamely pushed on. Through the hall of fried food, past the lonely salad and pita wrap sellers and into a flea market nightmare. There where taffy vendors( who really eats this stuff?), knife sellers, people hawking shammy's, hose nozzles,essential oils and nonstick cookware. All of them had microphones and flashy booths with demos at high volume and to ad to the painfully slow traffic, free samples. It was quite the thing let me tell you! We emerged from the first of the two buildings ready to cut out on the third but where lured in by some live Christmas trees and Santa figurines. After they had you locked into the flow of traffic it became the same flea market horror as the other. So with one brief stop at the Christmas village, for a holiday like cleanse, we took our leave and headed out to find lunch. Big city, Saturday, good restaurants...right? eh, yeah good CLOSED restaurants only open for dinner or closed at 1pm to reopen at 5pm....it was 2pm.
We managed to find a grill of some sort open near the fresh market (where I was determined to eat if yet one more food joint was closed to us.) It was food at least and rather a pleasantly dim place after the bright, loud show! But the best was on the way home. Tim spots a Gun show sign and with a classic,mischievious grin, wheels on in to peruse firearms. I enjoyed the firearm owners and attendees myself. A den of eclectic fanatics you have never seen. And the odors! Musty world war two era jackets, duffel bags and gun cases, deer pee, motor oil and cigarettes. Shew! as they say here in the south! Not to mention the occasional beer fumes and fried onions smell emitting from my fellow shoppers. Now , I'm not a gun loving sort, but on a purely aesthetic plane, I found I fancied hammer less, 38 revolvers with a laser in the grip, in shiny gun metal, silver! But that's just me.....Tim liked big, black guns with clips. Now everyone who has watched any amount of detective/police/mystery-kill-kill TV knows that clips can jam and do at the most inopportune times! And like the westerns I always have favored, there is something heart stopping about the sun glinting off of a barrel of a gun! That being said, for actual protection should one need it, I think a flame thrower would be most effective, collateral damage be damned. If someone is on fire their focus will likely shift from you to themselves. There where no flame throwers there though, *sigh* only "girl-ey" weapons like mace and tasers....oh and guns of course! So our get into the spirit weekend was eclectic to be sure, but in some ways so appropriate. We hit the wives to do first, and the place where alot of the husbands where second. A very telling and authentic southern fall outing I'd say!

Fall, Firewood and "Punkins"

On my quest to keep the frost from the tips of our snoots and our toes toasty in the coming months. I have been traversing the country side acquiring large amounts of fire wood for our ancient wood stove in the mud room. The oil furnace will be used sparingly as oil is almost 3 bucks a gallon.(gasp) I have located a great source for large quantities of dry hardwood off of ....guess where...my favorite.....CRAIGSLIST! I swear one could rule the world with properly used craigslist listings. I have thus far picked up and stacked three pick up loads of walnut. I have three more loads to go, two being oak. I have no idea how much we need but i think 1/3 of garage full is a good start! At $60 a load, cut and debarked, I think its a steal. Plus I get to take a lovely drive through the fall country side as a fabulous, free perk. Looking at all the pumpkins and mums and scarecrows adorning the various yards put me in the mind to decorate.....yes! to decorate for fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving. I used to back in MD but fell out of the habit in CA. So the search was on for suitable decorative squash. After three roadside stops with bright orange punkins running about 12 bucks a piece, I began to remember why I stopped decorating. Then I past a truck load of gorgeous frosty colored pumpkins being unloaded at a local convenience store. Only slightly squealing to a stop after a questionable "U-y", I climbed out of my pick up into a jovial group of pumpkin wranglers. I picked out a few and tried to pay but the good will was flowing and each of them gifted me a beautiful globe. WOW, I was floored. Those boys will get a pan full of brownies and a loaf of my bread next week when I head out for more wood. Just another reason to love my new home here in upstate NC.

Has it been that long?

grannys pan
apple festivus fun
Me and the 'Mater
a southern twist
Lake Lure

Greetings from Shelby! We really have been enjoying ourselves here. Love the house, love the area and so far, love the weather way better than the coastal swamp. Since July we have gotten fencing up, procured a tractor christened 'Mater, put up hay for the winter, got the last of the tomatoes ripening on the vine and can get most places with out really having to pay attention to the GPS( also known as the bitch in the box) We do actually leave the farm occationally and went up to the apple festival in Hendersonville a few weeks go. It was a real hoot! Can I just say that frozen apple cider is the bomb! Tim experienced clogging....not first had but we saw a very lively troop perform...He said it was like river dance but with seniors! We actually got good sushi up there at a Thai resteraunt on main street. You just never know! We havent really found a place right in our neighborhood to eat yet but I cook at home alot. Ive been using grannys pans. I think they are the secret to good cooking. Is it me or does almost everything from back in the day work better, last longer and seem to out perform modern items? We have had the bike out to and will look forward to viewing the fall leaves on the blue ridge parkway later in the season. We have plans to hike Chimney Rock and pay another visit to Lake Lure. Before we know it christmas will be here that means a tour of the Biltmore house and hopefully lots of company. Life is good!

really, really....

New Digs!

The house has taken shape, now for the great out of doors! Horse fence, barn rehab, mowing.... As you can see the horses are very happy in their temporary quarters. They have blown through the grass but they are content under their pine tree on their mats munching hay. Its really so peaceful and beautiful here. As the sign says: "Shelby, a pleasant place to live!"

We're doing it again.....

What do a narsty stomach flu, an impacted doggie anal gland,one lame horse,a gazillion spider bites and a uhaul have in common? They are all present on moving day at the Collins house hold. I have the flu....AGAIN and am sipping my ancient Chinese remedy of a boiled chicken thigh with a knob of ginger, while filling a box, laying down, running to the bathroom, sipping tea, laying down, filling a box.... You get the picture. After 5 hours of driving we delivered our first load....or is it our second load? Lets just call it the "extra" load that the movers we paid could not get on their truck. Strangely it seemed to be all horsey related items except for the motorcycle( sheepish grin) Amerika does not share a trailer and my round pen needed to be set up in temporary horse corrals for the Monday arrival of the horses. As Tim so succinctly put it" I think I only have one more of these moves in me." I do believe, I concur. While I'm not sure we are getting any better at it, we have gotten wiser and hired some nice guys at the other end to do most of the heavy work. Turns out, Adam and his nephew are neighbors living not to far from the new place. I posted on my favorite resource Craigs list and got over 20 calls in an hour! Needless to say times are tough and it makes me so, so, so grateful for our situation, employment and other wise! Tim's new job starts on the 8Th, therefore the rush- rush. Luckily the "big gun" is available from Fla. Nothing like a Moomsie to help whip things into shape and lend the much needed moral support.

Like last time, there is serous kismet at work here. Not only did the place fall into our lap after one day of rental ad perusal but I went to a horse show with a buddy of mine two weekends ago and drove through Shelby on our way up to Asheville. At the time I thought,"Wow, this is a cute little town, I wish we could live here...Its probably to far from Tim's work." As it turned out that's exactly where we get to live! The new place is 13 glorious, unfenced acres, covered for the most part in black berry bushes and tall grass. The home is at least 65 years old and by far the biggest place I have ever lived. We won't be using the upstairs of the house where there are 4 bedrooms and a bath that is non functioning. All my Christmas decorations and our extra stuff will enjoy that space. Down stairs is two bedrooms one bath and an office for Tim not to mention a huge kitchen and mudroom and laundry room. I'm looking forward to no more musty, dusty carpet as the whole house is wood floors! There is a barn that needs a little work and tons of out buildings. Some that need bull dozing! But Amerika gets to live at home, Tim's car and motorcycle have a garage and there is no, NO dirt road to the place. Its pavement baby! All the way to the front door!

We are having to suffer a return to Hughes net for Internet access. So Internet will be sketchy or at least to slow to be bothered with most of the time. Don't worry if you hear from of us infrequently until the weather breaks....You will all have our new phone numbers when we get them. Wish us luck. Big day tomorrow......