Boobies and Madras

One question for all you southern gents. Whats with the boobie ogling? I mean really, I havent had one man look me in the face since I crossed the Misissippi. If someone of the male persuation looked me in the eye at this point, I’d bet money he was gay or under the age of 10! What is hysterical to me is that im not what one would consider well endowed in this department, so my first reaction is to look down and see if I spilled something on my shirt! Grin. Ive done that more than once then of course I have to try to keep a straight face….not that the men would notice mind you. I may have to employ one of my all time favorite lines : “wake up gals he’s talking to ya!” said after giving both a good lift toward the oogler. Ogling must be a finer art in Ca. Cant say as my boobinis garnered much noticeable attention out there. I guess I better get some sun too, Tim and I are down right ghostly compared to everyone we meet out here. The Goth phenomenon obviously isn’t going to take off in this town. But to my great surprise madras print is still being worn with pride in these here parts. I think I saw docksiders and a polo shirt as well. I couldn’t be sure though as the collar was flipped down. So much to learn….giggle.

Oh canada.....

The hunt for good hay has begun and not a moment to soon I say. I have purchased at all manner of brown , crunchy, weedy looking stuff and strangely the horses are sucking it down like its manna of the gods. Ooooookay, well at 7 bucks a bale I’m not complaining! So far ive tried local grass hay, and Canadian premium timothy, yes its true, they import from Canada. What happened to all the hay grown in states between here and Canada I don’t know. Maybe there’s some kind of embargo. “Until you drop the price of your moon pies, we northern states hay sellers are boycotting the entire state of north Carolina….” shrug…. Anyhow, I had moment of “geez, my horses are eating a bale a day, I cant afford this!” then I did the math, 35 to 40 pounds a bale at seven bucks equals?….. well lets just say that the two of them getting chubby on this hay are eating for less than the cost of one of them in Ca! woohoo! I have to get my second and third paddocks set up( all I have is the good old round pen at the momo) for more grazing time and then they can get more grass. Their current turn out( over two acres) is really sandy and the grass had been depleted before they got here. So project number 653: break paddock into thirds and reseed. Not as daunting as it sounds as the rain here will take care of the watering nicely. The ponies seem happy, I’ll figure out the intricacies of feeding in far eastern, coastal, usa then all will feel normal again.

Returning to normalcy

Good golly miss molly! We are home. Today we found the Home Depot, the Harris Teeter, and a Massage Envy. I’m secretly thankful ‘cause folks, Ace hardware and super Wal-Mart had me a little worried. Not that they aren’t wonderful in their own right. I mean, where else in the country can you buy beet pulp and fly spray for your horses at an Ace hardware? But walking into Home Depot with its plethora of fence building materials and paint and plants, well, phew is all I can say! This is why lonely American tourists can be found eating “big macs” from Beijing to Paris. You know what you are going to get. You know what its going to look like and you can find the restrooms no worries! Harris Teeter is the first real super market we have been in. Granted we haven’t found the piggly wiggly yet, I hear its up by Jacksonville a whole 20 miles a way! But it reminded me of Vons and that was fine by me after the disappointment that was “Loveys” the one organic food store in town. Thank heavens for farmers markets is all I’m sayin’. Loveys was outrageously priced, you know like jimbos except with no fresh produce, goat cheese, buffalo or kafir. So what is the point I ask you? The people where all very friendly and the salad bar I scarfed for lunch was delish but I wont be buying much of anything there except lunch on occasion. I’m wondering if I can solicit Sprouts to open a store here……
We visited Rhett and Scarlet Vincent as well(that’s Diana and Brian) trying to come close to matching their house warming of hay and booze with our moon pies and ice cream sandwiches. Their house is fabulous! And my horses would be kicking me in the butt if they knew they could have been boarded there on the plantation. Tree studded pastures with lush green grass, breezy barn, and a view of the house. This house is something, white columns, double decker porches, meandering, tree studded drive…… Its just like Tara! I hope I get an invite to the Christmas ball!

The eagle has landed

Where the hell have we been you ask? Well, here of course! Still waiting on internet access. We have landed, unpacked, settled in and enjoyed two very memorable meals. I finally got my Ahi and field greens, and I ate the best steamed spicy shrimp , washed down with a cold corona light at the crab shack on topsail beach. A REAL crab shack with family style tables, plastic table cloths , paper towels instead of napkins and salty bartender from Solomon’s island Md. Of all places….this world gets smaller by the day. In any case I digress lets back up to the day we arrived.
We left heaven in the hills of Tenn. Around 8:30 am. We slept in then the drive out was almost as interesting as the drive in even taking the “easier” way. The easier way consisted of a really steep gravel drive to another bridge this one less scary than the first but still a bit of a challenge. Especially after my one wrong turn that thankfully ended in a round cul de sac for easy turn around. Grin.
I was still in my virtual east coast bliss after the peaceful night of fire flies and frog noises from our deck at the cabin. I saw signs for battle fields and antiques, historical homes, and cave tours, as we wound our way out of the mountains and down toward the flat lands of NC. That’s when things got a bit ugly. Merge morons ran rampant around the cities. I was pushed off the road, rig and all by a man determined to get off on an exit we where practically past. All I can remember is his wife’s big round eyes looking up at me as she passed in front of my truck. We hit the exit going 65 and came to a screeching halt on a very soft berm . After I got my wits about me again and had exhausted my entire vocabulary of vile language. I think I even made up a few new combinations! We(critters and I) where able to get back on the freeway in search of Tim, my phone was long dead by this time. He missed the whole thing! In a personal note to the three truckers I met on the road outside Raleigh-Durham: Cut back on the red bull boys, its bad for you, do some yogic breathing, and PULL YOUR COLLECTIVE HEADS FROM YOUR ASSES, DRIVING THE FREEWAYS IN YOUR HUMONGOUS TRUCK IS NOT SOME GAME!!!!! These three fools rode my bumper for miles in rush hour traffic and then passed me, when there was opportunity, blowing their horns the whole way…… Some people just need a good beating and these three should be first in line when beatings are being doled out. Harrumph! Despite all this fun and the fact that we had no clear directions to our new abode, we managed with phone calls to our land lord and my wonderful folks, to arrive. You know how the good always comes with the bad? Yep, here is no exception. Our road to the house is “the bad“. House, barn, yard, turnouts, privacy, pond, screened in porches, all good! Road to the house….all bad! “Road” is using the term loosely. Path? trail? All, to bucolic. This is just like the beach roads to places like Jadabacoa and Samana in the good old days living in the D.R. For those of you this does not conjure an image for just imagine what the pioneers faced in their ox drawn carts crossing the country. I’m not making this up! Its sand, ruts, sink holes, and overgrowth. One and a half miles of it…………. You shoulda seen Tim’s’ face! Grin.
The unpacking happened in record time with help from Chester and Mickey aka Two Men and a Truck( A great little service that moves people in and out) and the mimster and waynacane aka my folks, who did most of the house staging and took care of the food/drink detail. Tim has never been happier than to unload and ride his motorcycle again. It arrived knick and ding free, started right up and he rode it around the house, into its new home in the barn! We also had several hitchhikers in the Penske. One huge, lizard and a handful of black widows. The lizard we released by the pond, he looked very confused in the grass. If there are any new species of mutant lizard turtles that devastate NC coastal habitat you did not hear about our little hitchhiking incident. Wink wink.
In a day and half all boxes are unpacked, pictures are hung, guest room is set up, all we need is company! See ya soon.

Cabin fever

We are finally in heaven! The Edward Estates and Log home rentals are fantastic…getting here was a real challenge between Sevierville traffic , roads that looked one car length wide and the bridge….the bridge into this place is crazy! It boasts a “no vehicles over 5 tons” sign…who the hell knows what their vehicle weighs? OMG! But you know its all worth it, the owner himself appeared, sans shirt,(picture a man who loves his RC cola and is very confident with himself, boasting a great tan!) in his huge pick up waving us in like an air traffic controller. He was strangely comforting! Grin. Tim was sweating bullets until this guy shows up all “ come on buddy, you got it!” then as if by magic we drive this incredible gravel drive unload the critters into 50 by 100 electric turn outs AND have a place to park the trailer, Penske and car! No problem. I learn from the barn manager, who is the consummate Marlboro man, all muscles and gravelly voice, severe dimples and craggy face, that there are trails for miles OMG! I am coming back here for sure to ride my cuervy and possible boo boo. We are then pointed to our cabin: the honey moon suite….grin …no I didn’t plan it I reserved a two bed two bath cabin…it is secluded and very, very cute! Real quilt on the bed, LAUNDRY, very important after the extended trip we have had, kitchen and wonderful ,wonderful porch! Where I sit writing this blog. Sigh, im so psyched to be on the east coast again. I cant describe it really , the gnats are even welcome! Hahaha. I cant get enough of the green. The smells, the trees, the grass…….its home coming that I never thought I needed. You all must come see, really and truly. So worth it!!! Well I promised Tim a real meal, with plates that clink and silverware…later gaters‘….

Singing in the rain

We now know why Arkansas is so green, it rained the entire day we drove through it. Not just any old rain either. How to describe it? Sheets of rain doesn’t do it justice, neither does down pour or deluge, this, this was biblical rain! The sky opened up and the heavens wept….Yes, its true. Rain so hard and juicy that seeing more than a few feet in front of your vehicle was impossible. Rain so fat that that when Tim and I ran giggling to the rest rooms at a rest area, that we could wring out our shirts. It was amazing, and lasted all day with only two short respites. Its wonderful! Grin! Tim called me twice to say a booming voice requested he build an ark and begin collecting animals……hahaha. We saw several semi’s off in the woods, wrecked and one passing car with a turkey in the passengers lap. Hmmmmmm. In any case, while a bit nerve wracking at times, I was lucky enough to have Puddy bird with me and he LOVED the rain. He sang all day, every whistle in his repertoire and some new stuff he made up. It was very cute and helped keep my mind off the strain of driving a rig through puddles big enough to pull us around the lanes. Of course the wet dog smell combined with bird breath wasn’t at all pleasant so fabreze to the rescue! Thank heaven we had the stuff to because ladies and gents our first farm stay is, well , uh, smelly. An interesting mix of moth balls and gasoline I think. We are to tired and its raining to hard to go find another place. Our horses are comfortable in the barn, our chickens are turned out for the night in the horse trailer( aka worlds most expensive chicken coop) So, we are staying here meanwhile we have our chops set for tomorrows’ two bedroom cabin in Sevierville with 100 by 100 turnout for the horses and a “real meal“ for Tim!
The horses here are beautiful appaloosas and its to dang dark now to take any good pics and since our accommodation is so, er, uh pungent we are leaving at first light. Ah, well the bed is comfy at least and the water in the shower hot and plentiful. But if we don’t appear as scheduled in Sevierville tomorrow please call 911, we will have died of fabreze inhalation in Jackson TN!!!! Grin…..
My favorite sign today was for a park in AR called, are you ready for this? TOAD SUCK PARK! Now that there is funny……….

dog is my copilot

The truck has been retrieved. Its water pump, hopefully repaired and we are getting ready to pack up and ship out tomarrow AM. OK has been fun buts its time to go. Ive split the last of the trip up into bite sized pieces for sanity sake all under 450 miles each of our three days of travel. Our last stops will be farm stays so im not sure about internet hook up. Ill keep notes though and take pics for blog updateing when its possible! grin

Here are some fun OK facts for you all.

1) I visited the local winery called The Grape Ranch, It had some frozen sweet rose wine that would knock your socks clean off! why are those tasteing portions so small? yum! I had no idea there where winerys here, apperently there are 34 in this fine state, all still useing Ca grapes but soon to have their first crop of OK grapes in the fall, as I understand it.
2) The town of Henryetta(where my truck spent its OK vacation) is Troy Aikmans home town!
3) The first parking meter was erected in Oklahoma.....all this and more are on the incredible amount of road signs to every little town and stop along the way. Some one has a huge state budget apperently. Grin
4) Okemah is the birth place of Arlo Guthrie

Send us happy thoughts~