They come and they go.....

Miss Kitty was humanely euthanized last night after a freak accident with Boo. Poor cat got under her feet when she was cantering in a work out and suffered severe head trauma. All my brave talk about how barn kitties have unusually short but full lives is ringing hollow for me this morning where there is no Miss Kitty to meet me at the kitchen door. No Miss Kitty curled up in her blankets on my porch furniture. No Miss Kitty to escort me to the barn and back how ever many trips a day I make. Its not like I haven't lost barn kitties before, Moses, Radar, Tig, Tawny all wonderful barn kitties in MD, all killed on that horrible road out in front of my farm there. Diesel's brother Slinky, in Ca,simply disappeared one day the probable victim of a coyote. Its always miserable. This one is especially hard. I saw this happen and wish I could have done something to stop it. She was older, brave, and sweet. She was special and I'll miss her funny little cat face.

shtuck en zie mud!

"I never seen so much water!" Water pronounced "whar-tur". So says the fed ex man dropping off new winter wear for the horses. In fact its what everyone is saying around these here parts since we moved in. Well, that's just peachy. I love knowing that the reason my 4 wheel drive, heavy duty, ford is stuck 3 feet from my front door is due to some strange coastal weather anomaly. GREAT! For the second time this week Ive had to slog to the barn, in "good" clothes to extract humongous amounts of questionable hay to stuff under my tires in hopes it will give me just enough traction to get on a non rutted section of the yard in order to make my escape off the property. The place looks like some kind of scare crow killing fields! Well this all may be about to change. It seems my landlords suffered the same misfortune on a visit to their RV yesterday. Their 6 plus hour ordeal just happened to coincide with our day out to see Sherlock Holmes. Oops.....So after the movie we are enjoying a hot chocolate and wandering around in public when I finally remembered to turn my phone back on. That's when we got the message they where in need of some assistance. Its a real challenge to try to explain to harried, muddy, cold New York natives that 4 wheel drive is great for towing out smaller vehicles, IF said 4 wheeler is on ground where the tires can gain purchase. So we where only good for some sympathetic noises and limited company. (It was cold after all and we had stuff to do!) In any case their dilemma was solved by an even bigger truck with a thirty foot tow chain. After a few initial missteps that cost them their bumper, they where freed and wasted no time in getting down the drive. Before the rescue though I was told to expect gravel next week. Lots and lots of glorious gravel.

Pioneers O pioneers....

which one of these is not like the other?

Broccoli sprout..

ROMAINE!

romaine.

What the.....?

Lately we have had some sort of varmint attack our trash, granted its usually only when we have a stray bag sitting next to the big rubber maid outside on the deck but this trash can is by our sliding door with in sight of, ahem, ferocious huskies and rabid spaniels. So I'm thinking it has to be something with chutzpah like a raccoon. Well, one experience with clammy coffee grounds and congealed chicken fat and the new rule is that all stray bags get deposited in my truck bed for dumping the next day. This has worked fabulously until yesterday, when to my great irritation trash was scattered all over the truck bed letting me repeat my ritual of gagging while scraping soggy coffee grounds out of the crevices of my bed liner. Funny how coffee in a cup is Divine, and coffee grounds out of the trash are vile! Anyhow in the thanking god for small favors department, all trash was contained in my truck bed and not strewn about the yard. After much cussing and retching all trash was again contained, so I went inside to gather purse and keys for the dump run. I passed Ms. K lounging on our outdoor furniture. She was sporting a really funny "har do"(that's how we say hair do down south). It was a greasy looking Mohawk. Its been chilly here lately and I worry that Ms. Kitty will take to hiding in the engine compartments of our vehicles for warmth. So of course I had to identify the greasy look and what better way to do that than to smell of it! Hmmmm, definitely not engine grease, in fact it smelled just like chicken with a hint of coffee grounds! That's right folks, Ms Kitty, lapper of organic half and half. Connoisseur of canned cat food. Tuna taster extraordinaire, is a dumpster diver! Ungrateful feline. She at least will suffer the embarrassment of having her picture posted for all to point and giggle at. Cats! such posers.....

Horse Pants Blues

Well, folks I've suffered my last stare, my last stink eye, my last slack jawed scowl! I'm done I tell you, "Hallus"!( "enough", in Lebanese, don't ask me the true spelling... but when pronouncing it , start the "h" way back in your throat like your are gonna hoick a loogie!) Horse pants, otherwise known as breeches in the rest of the modern world, are not a well known article of clothing here on the coast. As the none to friendly stares from the natives have proven to me. The roughest spot so far has been the local gas station but hot on its heels is the Food Lion. I LIVE in horse pants and have happily for a decade. It makes me grumpy that it draws any sort of attention here, where racing home to change my pants before errands is a spleen bruising* waste of time.*See earlier posts on our road.

So, I first tried to remember to pack a pair of jeans with me to change into, this failed in many ways. Key word being the "remember" part. Then when I did manage to bring a pair, I had to parade myself past the very people I'm trying to "spare" the apparent horror that my spandex clad buttocks incites. I tried changing in my truck. I'm not sure, but i think this was even more scandalous. Maybe because a truck full of bubbas pulled up next to me at a crucial part in the concealment process. Anyhow I'm not one to bow to peer pressure, but its getting ridiculous. Down by the university, I blend right in with the yoga crowd. Especially if I change out of my smelly horse boots. But out in the country where 98 percent of my clientele reside? Not so much with the blending in.

The search is on for an acceptable pant that is comfy enough to sit in a truck and hop on a horse. I think I have found it in the Bettona pant from athleta. Get this, its a yoga JEAN! It comes in black and has jean-like stitching , faux zipper,rivets and pockets. I am hopeful. I'll give them the old test run when they arrive next week. Man, this small town living is not for the faint of heart! Who knew everyone has a reputation?

Talkin' Turkey with Tim

So Tim got a job...yep, we are thrilled! He's a salesman.....everyone pick your selves up off the floor and breathe deeply. He is a salesman and.....He loves it! I KNOW! right? Tim talking to strangers, selling to strangers?!...It may mean the end is near , I'm not sure. Anyway, our man Tim, had an interesting meeting this past week at a turkey processing plant. They gave him a tour to help him better understand their needs. Well, imagine, beheaded carcasses flying over head, on hooks. All kinds of chutes and pipes removing the, surplus/less savory parts of the bird, not to mention the "oh-dear" that might go along with all of this meat processing fun. Not something one sees everyday. Especially not something a city boy like Tim has ever seen let alone imagined. Poor man , wasn't sure where to look while trying to breathe unobtrusively through his mouth. He was a bit "off his feed" shall we say, when he left there. When he could finally bring himself to eat in an irony of all irony's he realized I had quite innocently packed him a turkey sandwich! giggle, I swear I didn't know! Well I think he went to Mc D's eventually, but now our thanksgiving is a in jeopardy. We may have to have ham! If there is a pig processing plant between now and what usually is "turkey day" I guess we'll be having the first ever Collins meatless thanksgiving. Tofurkey anyone?

Rain, rain, rain ,rain, rain ( did i say rain?) rain!

Guess what? Its raining outside! Thanks to tropical depression Ida( that booch) Its been raining cats and dogs and gerbils for three days. Dirt roads are almost impassible and paved roads have several rivers crossing over them. Its gloomy, damp and pretty gross out! So Ive been stuck indoors and so have the ponies. The chickens on the other hand are either senseless from the water or are part duck as every time I check on them, they are dragging their sodden feathers around their run bitching loudly about the conditions. I can only hope that they are simply hardier then my old group of poultry who never ventured forth unless it was 70 and sunny out. They continue to produce small, white eggs daily so maybe they haven't gone totally batty.

My poor ponies have been standing out in the weather for several hours a day, butts to the worst of it with rain sheets billowing. Cuervo is not pleased, and yesterday after about 5 hours out in it I had to bring them in. Its not to much better inside. My silly barn floods! So, except for the fact that the wind is not blowing them around,rain is not pouring off their manes and down their snouts, its not much of an improvement to be cooped up on a small island of pelleted bedding. At its worst the water was ankle deep inside. I thank my lucky stars that I propped the pallets holding my hay up on cinder blocks. I got alot of grief about that too. "Ya know, snakes and critters will git up under thar and bite ye..." well that maybe, but I'll gladly brave a little venom/rabies to keep my hay dry. Well, unless we have a record flood! Anyway, all this fun has put me in the mind of planning how I would improve on things if I had a place of my own. First of all, I wonder about stalls, they are small, dark and cage like. Any stall! Why do we have them? Who was the one person who decided 12x12 was the magic number of feet to contain an average horse? I remember in Hungary the barns where open, and the whole herd would plunk in there and eat from huge feeders set along the walls. If there was any division, it was from a hanging log from the ceiling that segmented out a straight stall where the horse got a grain ration or waited for saddling. A simple butt chain kept it in there between the two hanging logs. So I'm thinking, well what if I had a huge barn-like run in, instead of four 12x12 stalls? I'm not to hip on a simple three sided run in as those are cold and I have always noticed at least one horse getting left out no matter how well they get along. In my imagination I think of a closed barn with a door at either end. And an over hang outside where they can stand next to the barn out of the weather if they choose. This of course would be right off their turn out and down stairs from my barn house apartment! What could be easier for pet sitters or husbands with no horse experience? grin. Down the stair case, out of the weather might I ad, hay over the half doors into the four stall sized open space, water check of inside buckets and back up to a nice toasty home. No fuss no muss! Horses can come in or out as they choose, eat in a wind proof,bedded, snug stable or hang out in the turn out but dry under the over hang. By George I think I've got it! Can you tell I've been doing some thinking lately stuck indoors? The next rational addition would be a cover all so i can still ride in said lousy weather, and a piece of property way above sea level. No worries right? Ha! we shall see. Clearly more research is needed.